Oh why do I live this way?

Compliments of Kathryn by way of an old friend...

"It is good to work and have. It is better to work and have in order to give away. God's glory shines more brightly when He satisfies us in time of loss than when He provides for us in times of plenty. The health, wealth, and prosperity "gospel" swallows up the beauty of his gifts and turns the gifts into idols. The world is not impressed when Christians get rich and say thanks to God. They are impressed when God is so satisfying that we give our riches away for Christ sake and COUNT IT GAIN." john piper

And so I wake in the morning And I step outside And I take a deep breath and I get real high And I scream at the top of my lungs What's going on?

Well, of course, only parts of that are true...

I did wake up this morning and step outside...why? because the good folks who work at the University of Alabama do not get Memorial Day off.

I did not scream anything at the top of my lungs or otherwise. I did take a deep breath, but i don't remember that leading to any sort of "high"

i will tell you what's going on...only if you promise to take a moment and think of the song, perhaps sing it in true 4 Non Blondes fashion...followed by a "hey ey ey ey ey" (ahh, the good ol' days of music?)

So...the summer of reading and movies and learning how to use appliances has begun in full force!

Only, i have not yet learned how to use any appliances; however, I did go shopping with a friend for appliances for her new house...does that count?

I have read (1) the perks of being a wallflower...you can find it in your local bookstore in the teen section. I write that with much hesitation...aren't i too old to be shopping in teen section? Well, maybe too old, but definitely not too good, so i'll waltz over there and pick it up and buy it.

I am almost done with (2) the da vinci code...i saw the movie while only 1/2 way through the book, i don't regret it...both movie and book are good

I continue to read through (3) the chronicles of narnia...which i suppose could count as (3-9)...i'm on book 5, and they're good, my friends!

And then, i have (10-13) some other C.S. Lewis books to read, ready and waiting for me, which include the abolition of man, the great divorce, and mere christianity (there's another one about joy, but i don't remember it's title)

Followed by (14) running with scissors, which i just picked up!

I'm excited!

Further...i went and watched (a) XMen the other night...i'm not much for super heroes, but we did make up our own xmen names once, and it was kind of fun...i signed an email "Jean Gray" once, which now i feel a little strange about...oh well...i rented (b) the graduate yesterday, so that i could understand where Rumor Has It was coming from, and it too was pretty good...funny, and completes the Rumor Has It story for me, and (c) the crow..."it can't rain all the time"...that one, i think not typical of my favorite movies, but still, it was on the list and it has been conquered!

this week...the spelling bee! Wednesday during the day and then Thursday night, live on abc!

any other suggestions for movies and/or books would not be minded whatsoever!

Everyone around love them love them Put it in your hands Take it take it There's no time to cry Happy happy Put it in your heart Where tomorrow shines

those of you who are cool will recognize the above as being off of REM's Out of Time album...those of you who aren't quite there...well, listen to that song, it's great! This topic has to do with time...specifically a few people being Out of Time...

if you have already read this in email formation, i apologize...

there is a question of the day and a statement of the day...these are actually from a few weeks ago, but whatever

QUESTION: When the moment is right, will you be ready?
STATEMENT (or response): When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Last year, i noticed that i knew the Cialis jingle...whycome? you may ask? Because the dang commercial was being played over and over again during the NCAA Basketball Tournament...

i sent an email out to some of you regarding this...while it's somewhat cool to take some things from National Advertising Campaigns and make them a part of your every day living (greeting your friends with a good and hearty "WASSSSSSSSUPPPPPP" [which, by the way, is still appropriate to do]), it's not so very cool to find your self humming the Cialis tune...

So...what is going on in my life and how it applies to the above.

A couple weeks ago, i went to the Magical city of Birmingham to hear a few people sing to me and a bunch of seafood...the event was on friday night and saturday afternoon and night. I went friday night and rocked out with some cool friends (mabes and marge in the HOUSE) and some weed...the circle of weed (not trust) was in our midst, and it was sketch!

**And let me make very clear that there was no weed being smoked in our own circle of trust...just the circle beside and behind us....

there was sister hazel and blues traveler...and they were good!then there came saturday afternoon...i got there with a few friends just as the Presidents of the United States of America were taking the stage (Oh, Graham, you should have been there, you could have met one of them, and checked that off of your top 100!)...and they were cool back then, they are cool now!

when they were done, me and my peeps shoved our way to the front-ish of the crowd...because Better than Ezra was coming up, and i will sing along and act like their biggest fan...And, did you know that BTE is SOOOOO HARDCORE that people catch their vibe in such a way they feel compelled to crowd surf...i mean, we aren't talking to the caliber of the POD people...

nonetheless, there were some intense moments with people nearly losing their shoes while elevated 6 feet in the air and such...well, here's where the Question and REsponse come in (almost)

As many of you know, i caught the staph earlier this year...staph of the left foot to be exact...i still can't wear shoes that cover the top of my foot, it's still a little sore (and a little swollen)...so flip and flop it is...well, i prefer to be surrounded by my peeps in events such as outside music events...especially because if they are around me, there is less of a chance that someone will step on or be dropped on my poor poor foot.

That did not happen in this case...there were friends to the left of me and friends to the right...but i was stuck in the middle right in front of some drunken men of some caliber...they were nice individuals, i'm sure...they didn't push me, they didn't step on me...but when the moment was right...they were ready...well sort of.

You see...sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go...and these young men did. In a cup. i was no witness to that part of the event...only heard them talking about it...EWW! come on people...that's why the musicians have mics...so that you can go pee in an appropriate place (not right in front of me, [or behind me] for that is not how God intended it) and you can still here BTE rock your faces off!

after BTE was finished...and the gentlemen behind me were finished...i decided that i would leave the front-and-center atmosphere for the POD people, and for my boyfriends LIVE...who were ABSOLUTELY incredible!

That's what went on in my life a couple weeks ago...Here's what's coming up in my life in a couple weeks...

You guys remember last year (and if you don't remember this intense time in American history, i'm going to share it with you so perhaps you may feel the excitement yourselves)

In the 19th round, Anurag Kashyap of California became the winner of the 78th Annual National Scripps Spelling Bee. He beat 272 other contestents by correctly spelling the word: "appoggiatura," a melodic tone.

Well, the time is upon us again, friends. The 2006 Scripps National Spelling Bee is coming on May 31 and June 1, 2006. THe Preliminary Championship rounds will be broadcast live on ESPN from 12 noon to 3 p.m. eastern, then the championship rounds will be broadcast live on ABC from 8 to 10 p.m. EDT/CDT...will you be watching?

Make a business for yourself, boy, set some goals...

In 2002, I went on a fall retreat with my college ministry...During one of the talks, Chip Riley (woot woot) gave us a piece of paper numbered to 100. He instructed us to fill in our top 100 goals...these could be things that we want to do, even goals that we have had that we've already accomplished. Well, it's harder than you might think.

I did it...four-ish years later i found it...and last night i looked at it...

i will share some of the items on the list...definitley not incriminating myself by sharing all of the top 100...but here's a couple.

2. have at least one job that i enjoy
4. visit all the states
5. memorize all the presidents in order
15. have a slumber party when i'm 40
16. be the co-founder of Roll Tide Runs (port-o-potties)
21. throw a dinner party with individualized salt/pepper shakers
30. learn how to speak in front of people and not get nervous
50. solve the Rubix Cube
52. memorize at least 10 hymns
53. random acts of kindness at least once a week
54. write encouraging notes at least once a week
66. go inside the White House
67. Get a photograph of Denny Chimes at night
73. read books
75. Meet Dick Vitale
80. Go to an Atlanta Braves game
88. see a real moose
90. be able to afford to give Labor Day and Veteran's Day and MLKJ Day prizes
94. learn how to quilt
95. maybe pick up trash on the highway
100. always have goals


on the other hand...the speaker...he gave us a list of his top 100...his goals are way better than mine...i'll share some of those as well.


7. Get a novel published
11. Have a verse memorized in every chapter of the Bible
15. Know 1000 whose lives have somehow been bettered by God's use of me
17. Ride an elephant in Thailand
20. Put together and send 1,000 Samaritan's Purse Shoeboxes
21. Visit all 50 states (40 of 50 so far)
32. Provide Christmas morning gifts for 1000 kids
45. Learn and practice basic techniques of oil painting
46. See 10 favorite Alfred Hitchcock movies on the big screen
54. Provide school supplies for 1000 kids
60. Make 5000 cookies for the Kairos prison ministry
68. See an opera
69. Make 1000 baby bags for use by poor moms in crisis pregnancy
71. Learn to identifiy major constellations in the night sky
99. Help 1000 other people complete an item on their list
100. Find the mystical and the magical "item 100"

So...the challenge...write down your top 100--it's a little challenging, don't waste your days thinking of your goals...go out and do them, make 'em happen...but take some time, just a little bit, and think of some...if nothing else, four years later you might have something to look at, to laugh at yourself at...

my dearest friend wrote, "I think I might write mine down. I am not sure if they would be goals in comparison to dreams. Goals I believe are more practical and obtainable. Dreams are more like the unobtainable being obtained."

either/or...do it! and let me know some of them?

"Makin a list, checkin it twice, gonna find out who's naughty and/or nice...

Make a list of 20 people you know:

1. KBacon
2. D-Nasty
3. Hogan
4. Wessie
5. Dannie
6. Cracker
7. Calli
8. Hollywood
9. Junior
10. Raz-ma-Taz
11. Tejas
12. Mitch
13. Kat
14. Anna G
15. Randy (that's his name)
16. Mabes
17. Blythe
18. "i'm so Seattle"
19. RICHARD
20. Terp

Answer the following:

--How did you meet 13?

I don't remember...I met her back in '99, either in Tutwiler or at Crusade, but then we had a magical class, Classical Rhetorical Theory together in 2003...and then we taught public speaking across the hall from each other...then she shared some good poetry with me...and then she shared some conversations with me...and man, she's a fantastic and faithful crazy lady!!

--What would you do if you never met 5?

I'd be sad...i wouldn't have anyone to come see me only to take candy out of the record and then throw trash at me...and i would have one less friend on thefacebook.com and on myspace.com...and he wouldn't leave me "nice words," and that would possibly be tragic-ish

--What do you honestly think of 10?

Oh she's crazy! and she puts up with me...so...hmmm?

--Would or did 19 and 8 date?

well, he's pretty cute, and she's pretty cute...isn't that all it takes?

--Have you ever liked 3?

we go to the target a lot, and we get rowdy rowdy in the Parisians parking lot...and there's no one i'd rather have as my special ops partner...she's pretty cool!

--If 1 died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know?

Oh, what wouldn't i need him to know...KBacon, I LOVE YOU!

--Would 2 and 11 make a good couple?

I don't know...they met each other once, and saw each other one other time...but i don't think they're a lot alike...but you know what my girl paula said, "opposites attract"

--Describe 7 in 3 words:

Crazy, Sexy, Cool!

--Do you think 12 is hot?

There's no thinking about it...she is HOT!

--Would 1 and 17 make a lovely couple?

She wouldn't think so...but man...a hottie like him, and a hottie like her...yeah, lovely couple! But, she's married to someone way better!

--What do you think when you see 8?

She's a Hottie!

--Tell me something humiliating about 11.

I think he told me something the other day, but i totally don't remember...i could look it up, but i'm not gonna right now...he's pretty cool though, i don't think he gets humiliated often...and he reads some awesome books!

--Do you know any of 3's family members?

Of course...and her dog, Corduroy

--What's 20's favorite color?

I have no idea...Terp, you wanna help me out on that one? We're basically twins, though, sometimes, so i'm gonna guess orange...it for real is STILL the NEW PINK!

--On a scale of 1-10 how cute is 14?

She's an 11!

--What would you do if 4 just professed his undying love for you?

Umm...he does every day-ish??? sort of...i would for sure...ummm...what would i do? I would consult his brother's new favorite book "Kiss me Quick"...it's too bad-ish that he professes his undying love for every girl around...

--What language does 19 speak?

American, Spanish...Rap...Doctor (aka, i guess some Latin)...there could be some others...he's a smartie!

--Is 9 a boy or a girl?

He's not either...he's a MAN!

--Would 18 and 4 make a good couple?

Anyone would make a good couple with either of these individuals...too bad they don't live in the same neighborhood...or city...or state

--What grade is 17 in?

She's way too cool for school! Duh!

--When was the last time you talked to 12?

A little before midnight...on May 11, 2006

--What is 3's favorite band?

She likes BTE, Sister Hazel, Rascal Flatts...and my man Luda

--Does 1 have any siblings?

Yeah...Bacon BROTHERS!

--Would you ever date 6?

He's way too good for me...probably the most sincere and cool man i sort-of know...at least on paper, he rocks my world!

--Would you ever date 7?

Clearly...we got such a high percent on the lovecalculator.com...and she's the only person i know with a silent beginning letter in her name!

--Is 15 single?

I have no idea...i haven't seen him in about 4 years...maybe i should work on getting that info?

--What is 19s last name?

well that would give away some of the mystery, wouldn't it?

--What is 5's middle name?

Allan (and i even know how to spell it!)

--What is 10's fantasy?

Oh...i know wh-wh-what her fan-n-t-t-a-a-sy is...ha! but i'm not writing it here

--Would 14 and 19 make a good couple?

Everyone wants to date 19---14's got her eyes on someone else...

--What school does 16 go to?

The University of Alabama

--What school does 1 go to?

He doesn't go to school, duh! He's in a band!

--Where does 9 live?

Tuscaloosa, Alabama

--Would you make out with 6?

Heck yes, i would...but i don't know what that means

--Are 2 and 5 best friends?

Yep...but why are they? Now, that's a better question...and i know that answer too, example: going to see random softball games!

--Is 20 older than you?

of course not...but is he cooler than me? oh yeah!

And babe, don't you know it's a pity that the days, can't be like the nights, in the summmer, in the city...

I declare this the summer of.....

well, after i turn in my SEM final (which requires me actually doing it) on Thursday...let the summer begin!

it's going to be the summer of reading and learning to use appliances...and seeing some "must see" movies

Books:

(a) CS Lewis--Mere Christianity
(b) TS Eliot--4 Quartets

[if anyone has any other must reads (only authors that go by initial, initial, last name), let me know!]

and i'm definitely going to learn how to use my

(a) coffee maker
(b) espresso machine

and movies that everyone should see---apparently

(a) Braveheart
(b) The Crow
(c) Scarface
(d) The Graduate
(e) Chronicles of Narnia

--again, any other suggestions, cause i'll do it!

And i miss you and the things you do...the time we had, the good and bad...the day we met that i can't forget...signed, sincerely, me

break it down, break it down, break it on down...


And i miss you---thanks BTE for leaving it with just 'you' so i may think of whomever i choose...whichever "who" strikes me in that moment...

(i don't know if i used that "whom" correctly...whoever, if that's more grammatically appropriate)

...and think of someone(s)...i indeed do that...

merriamwebster.com tells me that "miss" means: "to discover or feel the absence of"---it's so true...i feel the absense of you...i feel--to have one's sensibilities markedly affected by--it...you affect me...HENCE

and the things you do--the words you write, the thoughts you think, the heart you give, the integrity you maintain, the 'conversations' we have, the conversations we have, the knocking on doors, the rides you give, the smiles you provoke...the list (much like my heart) could go on and on...

the time we had, the good and bad...that's the cool thing...we had some time, we HAVE some time...it's nice...and has there really been bad? i don't know...i don't think so...there's been growth, now that's for sure...bad, though...not for uni--you and i--not for "us" (the dreaded "we") ...it's been good! (and there are 33 enteries of "good" in the online dictionary...you may look them up if you so choose...some are applicable, others not)...it's been a journey...a short one for some of us, a longer one for others of us...no matter...it's been good...the καιρος and the χρονος...

the day we met that i can't forget--well, now this is interesting...there are absolutely few that this applies to...i think i remember about one...it could have been at band practice, the magical bond between keyboard and tamborine...it could have been that i knew you before i met you...and so the meeting was lost...(does it matter, then?)at a basketball game...at a wedding...did you know me before you met me...in a moment designed as an escape from "life" as we daily know it...which "we" am i leaving out...in a basement...on the playground, the four-square "square?"...i remember we played often...in a class, at lunch, a coffeehouse, on a couch...

Signed Sincerely, ---free of dissimulation, marked by genuineness...i don't know that the words above "say" anything or mean anything...but i do hope they do...because that is my intention...friend(s)...my Dear Friend...(s)...i miss you, genuinely, honestly, purely, truly...my sensibilities are markedly affected by the absence of you--but even in your absence--you continue to affect me...it couldn't happen any other way...

me

just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of (a) indifference and (b) disinterest in what the critics say

tonight's selection for the library includes the following CDs

1--Live--Throwing Copper (1994)
2--Panic! At the Disco--A Fever You Can't Sweat Out (2005)

3--Black Market Flowers--Bind (1993)
4--Collin Raye--Extrememes (1994)
5--The Fugees--The Score (1996)
6--Disturbed--The Sickness (2000)

oh, you call me diverse, eclectic, delerious, confused...(e) all of the above

so here's how today's library night went down...i remind you that yesterday's library night ended at -ish 3:30 am...

oh, i'm already there today, baby, and i'm not done!

I've caught "the procrastination" i believe from Graham Judson Lee Michael, who says something about the time to procrastinate is now!

I caught it and i've fallen hard...Cause, i know that in my heart, i ain't one of "those people"

So...my paper is due tomorrow...it ain't done now at 3:26 am...

By 8:00 this evening i had ingested (swallowed) 36 ounces of soda...that's way too much sugar, in the form of two coca-colas and one mountain dew.

At around 9-ish, i purchased a latte from the coffee place in the library, which has surprisingly good coffee

At around 11:30-ish, i purchased another latte from the coffe place in the library, which has surprisingly good coffee

At around 1:37-ish, i DID NOT purchase an immunity defense bottle of orange juice...or is it a bottle of immunity defense orange juice...well, both the bottle and the juice, i'm sure, had magical powers!

Why? The coffee place in the library closed early...COME ON PEOPLE! you are KEEPING US AWAKE...help me out! i've been nice to you thus far! i've spent some big bucks at the coffee place in the library! stay open for me!!!

Well...the gas station does not close...and so those sweet folks got my business instead of the University of Alabama...their loss?

at this gas station, i purchased:

1--wild cherry pepsi (add 20 more ounces to all that sugar)
2--2 starbucks double shots (one is gone already)
3--calcium + vitamidn D orange juice...no immunity defense, for me...and you better believe that if i catch the bird flu tomorrow...I mean, i already caught the procrastination, obviously the immune system is already in a bad state...if the bird flu is upon me tomorrow...oh i'm taking my castigations to the nice people at the coffee place in the library! (but not really...i'm a lot more talk and a little less action)

4--a bag of M&Ms
5--a 16 ounce Natti Light!

(JUST KIDDING...but it was very tempting...i believe i could get some good work done at the University of Alabama's library while sippin on that junk??? i think it's against university policy...and while getting kicked out of the university of alabama would be a good excuse for not turning in my paper, i don't think my parents would receive that excuse well...)

Now...for my -ish 30 page paper...i am sittin pretty at 19 pages, with a completed Title Page, Introduction, Lit Review, Methods, and Reference page....

Totally missing, however, the results and discussion...hmmm...SEM could be the cause of my downfall tonight---a-if Ah-ch-ade-- i will keep reminding myself, that though my paper SCREAMS, "And don't deny me--No baby now, don't deny me," I will respond to myself with, "And darlin' don't be afraid..."

Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you

Bad List

1. Junior--you know you'll always be first on someone's list baby!

2. Ross

3. Bad News Bobby

4. Daniel

5. Wesley