annie are you okay

Monday, January 29, 2007

Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little, cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more

Recently I heard a man talk about how a lot of girls “just can’t take it”—those are my words, not his—can’t handle the constant and consistent chiding that, well, the teenage boy, and in some cases, the college-aged boy (or perhaps one of the doctors on Scrubs) directs toward the ladies. I’ve got some thoughts regarding this situation

If you were flirting, and I was sure of it…the rest of this could be disregarded…but in this crazy world, where bodies are not to be treated like carnivals, mere eye contact leads to the tongue-lashing of “don’t touch,” and an accidental brush of the leg results in “get off me,” one can’t be sure…so I proceed.

Do we “ask for it”? Well, it depends. There are some girls out there who feel like they will not get any attention unless they set themselves up as a little bit more naïve than they really are. So, through the picking, they are internally rolling their eyes. Because, perhaps, gentlemen, it makes you feel like more of a man to put down a lady? And, if you need to compensate for your lack of masculinity that much…well, then, son, go right ahead. That doesn’t apply to every situation, I realize…there are some girls who really are “that naïve” and there are some boys who are quite masculine…

When can girls take it? Well, when you, boy, have somehow conveyed that you indeed like the girl okay, and that the picking is just part of the relationship, she tends to handle it better. Example, Dr. Cox on Scrubs. It seemed as though he and the ex-wifee were in a constant battle. Perry picks on Jordan, Jordan picks right back (or often initiates the picking), but you know what? There were also the extremely sweet moments, that lead the viewer to think, “awww.” While perhaps publicly the relationship looked strained, Jordan knew how Dr. Cox felt and vice-verse…and that feeling? A whole lot of love. And we, boys, are not always looking for love…just a little validation, that we’re not completely worthless.

When else can girls take it? When they simply don’t care enough about you, honey (read the sarcasm as best you can), to defend themselves or make some sort of come-back.

And when else can girls take it? I would say when they are maybe so convinced that they like you enough that it’s okay to be put down…and will take your attention any way they can get it…even when it hurts. Abusive? Absolutely. Self-destructive? Absolutely. Can we help it? Someone tell me how…

Most likely, it’s some combination of the three…or at least it is in my world. And can I “bring it” right back at you? Oh, you know I can…but are there occasions when I go home and feel bad for both what you’ve said and what I’ve said too? More than you’d probably like to know. And do I question why I want to be around a man who can’t say anything nice to me, but has a knack for manners? All the time. But, see, I enjoy you…read it….you… so much, that dealing with your trash is entirely worth it, if there is even the remotest chance that you might think I’m okay…even when that takes a lot of self-convincing. Let me know…I’ll quit wasting my time…and yours.

But, that would be too much honesty, now wouldn’t it? And, I don’t think you could handle it. So you go on picking, and I will keep picking back…and I will never know what you are really thinking, because yes, I’m scared of your truth…though I’m pretty sure that I’m an open book, in the fact that you should realize, sir, that while I have a flair for being sarcastic and picking, too, I’m also pretty darn good at encouraging, and I try to encourage you, and you know it. I just would like if you could be so vulnerable (if that's what you want to call it) to come up with one un-hateful word in return.


At Tuesday, January 30, 2007 11:00:00 AM, Blogger Carla said...

oooooh. Interesting.

Is it just me, or does this feel like it's directed at someone in particular?

How are you darlin'? We should hang out in the near future. Our cities aren't so very far apart, after all.


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