annie are you okay

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

so many days i've thought of you

It’s about time you knew the truth
Got to act quickly, you and I
We fall in love, so many reasons why

I dedicate the above to my pillow...on my couch: because that's where i long to be right now...there have been too many a recent night where i have not received the 8 hours that a healthy relationship with my pillow requires. it's not going to happen tonight either...

this is how it's going down at 2-ish am on this hmmm, i don't know what day it is, but it's sort of definitely tomorrow and no longer today, even though, that is sort of impossible...and with that, i am reminded of T.S. Eliot:

Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.
What might have been is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual possibility
Only in a world of speculation.
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.

i have a presentation to do tomorrow...the time limit: 15 minutes...the number of powerpoint slides i have 43...i'm no math major, but...i'm not sure how that is going to all work out...but i don't think it will

i still have 2 slides to complete with words, 2 slides to scan charts into in the morn, and then 10 handouts to copy, each containing 48 slides...

and currently i am waiting on a sunkist to unfreeze a little bit...it's been in the freezer since about this time, but 24 hours prior to this time (refer to ts again)

and the thought of tonight, the blogging break (2 points, scattergories) thought of the night is that there are so many things that reference the night...perhaps it's because that is where we are to drift off to who knows where...some talking, some walking, some doing (c) all of the above...

i have still not fully decompressed last weekend, which i fully intend on doing, perhaps this weekend...i got some things to think about, to process, to question...to learn...but it will wait:

tonight, a medly (ish)
In peace I will both lie down and sleep, For You alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety... looking around wondering what this is for...sure it's fine but i don't think i need this anymore...please don't wake me up, you're such a perfect dream of all i ever...wanted at all so unreal, so sureal but, you're just a dream you're far away...Look to the past...And remember and smile...And maybe tonight...I can breathe for a while...I'm not in the scene...I think i'm fallin' asleep...But then all that it means is...I'll always be dreaming of you...Mon amour.L'aventure commence...Sweet dreams, jellybean...I'm coming out of my cage...And I've been doing just fine...Gotta gotta be down...Because I want it all...it started out with a kiss...How did it end up like this...It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss...Now I'm falling asleep...In a dream my love, you will find my heart...So goodnight, goodnight...Walk away from the door...Walk away from my life...Goodnight...Check the phone, just incase...Go to bed...Dream of you....And take a look at what we've become...A tragedy, but I can't find that love...That we started with so long ago...And I know this isn't right...It's the last time I'll be kissing you...So goodnight, goodnight...

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