You are alone again You will believe the lie Judging from what you've taken You breathe, alive You are alone again

I took a personality test today...the Myers-Briggs test, or some version of it...that one that measures whether you are an Extravert or Introvert; Sensing or Intuitive; Thinking or Feeling; and Judging or Perceiving.

According to this test I am an ESTJ.

The description of the ESTJ: "Practical, realistic, matter-of-fact. Decisive, quickly move to implement decisions. Organize projects and people to get things done, focus on getting results in the most efficient way possible. Take care of routine details. Have a clear set of logical standards, systematically follow them and want others to also. Forceful in implementing their plans."

I think they're probably wrong. Or maybe I'm wrong. Whichever the case, the above statements do not really describe me accurately. I don't know...I will say this, i don't take tests very well. I'll provide some explanation.

Some of the directions: Which word in each pair appeals to you more? Think about what the words mean, not about how they look or how they sound.

Example: reserved or talkative

Well, i am much more talkative than the law should allow, especially if i am either very uncomfortable or slightly comfortable. But, which appeals to me more. Reserved, all the way. Let's speak only when spoken to, and the world will probably be a better place. I have a hard time following that suggestion.

So, Katharine C. Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers, which word do you suggest I pick?


The ESTJ---let's just take a look at it:

Practical, realistic, matter-of-fact---I am usually mostly practical and realistic. I am only matter-of-fact with about 5 people, and only about 2 of those am i matter-of-fact about everything. I am not one who thrives on ruffling feathers, or creating a moment in which that is even a possibility.

Decisive, quickly move to implement decisions---I am absolutely NOT decisive. Try me., or don't...whatev... And quickly move to implement decisions...well, perhaps after i stand there with my mouth wide open for five hours contemplating everything that could be done. That might not be completely accurate either. I think that if I was put in charge of doing something on a time-table, that I could make it happen. They don't call me Network for nothing. So, maybe once a decision was made, i would be good at implementing it...i'm just not very decisive. (i am good at shooting down impractical ideas, though)

Organize projects and people to get things done---i'm a much better following than leading, unless I know that i know that i have all the details. And, i'm extremely passive and easily swayed, which i'm pretty certain can be okay because it allows other people to feel comfortable, but as far as getting people to "Move (scream) get out the way"...not my forte.

focus on getting results in the most efficient way possible---I can't get to Crimson or Badass Coffee Co. in the most efficient way, you think i can get a lot of results in the most efficient way? Now, we'll get to the bottom of the issue, and eventually, you will have probably not one solution, but several to pick from...

Take care of routine details--- yeah...i don't know...if i think about them enough...but i'm no perfectionist, i'll say that much...and sometimes the routine details, if i feel they are insignificant, they may get overlooked.

Have a clear set of logical standards, systematically follow them and want others to also---i think i'm a logical person, and i make lists, but sometimes those lists are not followed systematically...and i may not be able to convince other people that my logical standards are the best logical standards to systematically follow

Forceful in implementing their plans---that's a laugh

***I realize that shouldst any future employers read this, i have not done anything for myself except for show that honesty about myself as one of my real strengths. There are some things that I do well...i think...and i've been told that i don't give myself enough credit...it could be true, maybe?

I've decided that four other types partially describe me as well. They are the ISTJ, the ESFJ, the INTP, and the ENTJ

ISTJ--Quiet, serious, earn success by thoroughness and dependability. Practical, matter-of-fact, realistic, and responisble. Decide logically what shoul be done and work toward it steadily, regardless of distractions. Take pleasure in making everything orderly and organized--their work, their home their life. Value traditions and loyalty.

ESFJ--Warmhearted, conscientious, and cooperative. Want harmony in their environment, work with determination to establish it. Like to work with others to complete tasks accurately and on time. Loyal, follow through even in small matters. Notice what others need in their day-by-day lives and try to provide it. Want to be appreciated for who they are and for what they contribute.

INTP--Seek to develop logical explantions for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical.

ENTJ--Frank, decisive, assume leadership readily. Quickly see illogical and ineffcient procedures and policies, develop and implement comprehensive systems to solve organizational problems. Enjoy long-term planning and goal-setting. Usually well informed, well read, enjoy expanding their knowledge, and passing it on to others. Forceful in presenting their ideas.

*the highlighted words are the ones that i think probably describe me a bit...well, at least conditionally


And here's a thought...some of these things, like being frank, or matter-of-fact...usually not at all, unless i trust a person enough to carry myself in that manner...maybe if i care enough to risk being ill-received...am i serious? Absolutely---sometimes. Earn success through being dependable...what success? I'm still in school. Take pleasure in making everything orderly and organized,well, absolutely, but does it mean that i have to do it a lot to take pleasure in it? Notice what others need in their day-by-day lives and try to provide it. I sure will think that i notice what others need, and i sure will attempt to provide it on some level...but then that's a little presumptuous of me as well, don't you think? I think maybe it just means that sometimes i stick my nose in other people's business and try to offer encouragement, stuff, whatever, when it's not needed nor wanted...

just some side thoughts...

Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams.

i had an epiphany the other nght...after i had written the post before the last post...

this is not the epiphany...just an observation...one should probably not make phone calls or send emails, and i'll even add text messages into the list, when he/she is (a) tired or (b) mad or (c) frustrated...or any of those feelings...one should especially not make phone calls, send emails, or text messages when he/she is a combination of any of those feelings...

go to sleep, go to sleep, if you're tired, be quiet and go to sleep (go to sleep)

and usually, things are a whole lot better in the morning...and one is either (a) really glad that the phone call was not made, the email or text message not sent, or (b) extremely nervous that communication was attempted...

at one time, i seemed to be always in that (b) category...nervous the next day because i had spoke before i really thought...or, no longer mad at what was originally the problem, but now mad at myself because i exhibited absolutely no patience (or smartness).

the epiphany...you wanna know when i can take the picking a little and talking a little...it's when you make the choice to show up...it tends to be, i realized, that when you are not around to pick...that's when i get real irritated or frustrated....when you show up, you can say pretty much whatever you want...the picking...it's cool, cause apparently, "it's what we do"....

and no need to have any hurt feelings there...i was just "we'd" (not wed)

again, i can make all sorts of speculations of what all this means, or rationalizations that it's indeed healthy, or scenarios in which this or that will or will not happen...

no use...you showed up and that's really all i need sometimes~